When I answered the doorbell, I was greeted by the young family on the street smiling back at me.  They were organizing a yard sale. Did I want to join in? Normally, I jump at the opportunity even though it’s a lot of work to prepare and certainly not a guaranteed money maker.  Yet, there’s something about yard sales I find hugely entertaining.  Most of the time.

We had family coming to visit and I didn’t have time for the deep dive that a yard sale requires. Still, I managed a superficial sweep of the house, garage and shed and set up a “free” table at the end of the driveway.  While I heard grumbles of undercutting from some of the neighbors, I was thrilled to see most items rehomed and saved from an uncertain future.

Honestly, I don’t know where the “stuff” comes from. For years, I’ve been making a conscious effort to avoid buying unnecessary items and yet, there still seems to be lots of it. And what to do with it all? At this point in life, I’m pretty imaginative about ways to dispose of material possessions.

I’ve had a few yard sales over the years – the faces and wares may change but the themes are the same.  Like the time I was giving away… I mean selling… a huge piece of wall art for $20 and the potential buyer pointed out an invisible flaw on the back of the picture in an effort to beat me down in price.  Just no! 

Or when I was selling “like new” custom toss pillows that I paid dearly for. The woman claimed her money was gone so I practically gave them to her.  She lugged them to her car and then came back with a wad of cash and a baggie of coins to buy more stuff. Her smile reminded me of the cat that swallowed the canary.  She might have… they were stuffed with down as I recall.

I mean really, the point of a yard sale is to unload bits and bobs with little expectation of huge profits. There was one yard sale though, where I’d pulled out what seemed like most of the contents of every nook and cranny in the house.  I worked for months that winter, even setting up a “staging” area in the home theatre room.  I’d painstakingly priced each item because don’t you hate going to a yard sale and there’s no prices? I guess I’m not a true fledged bargain hunter because there’s no way I’m going to ask how much each item costs.  I’ll walk away first.

As I set things up, our garage could have easily passed for any discount retailer.  The perimeter was lined with six or seven tables, each piled high with junk…I mean treasures… and most of it sold.  I was over the moon counting every quarter, dime and nickel because that’s the yard sale currency. I happily bragged to Chris about the $400 or $500 dollars I’d just made. 

He smiled sweetly and asked “Yes but how much did all that cost you new? And how many hours did you prepare? ”

Grrr. Don’t you hate the voice of reason?

And then there’s the larger items, or the items you’d like to get a bit of money from instead of donating.  What to do with that?  Facebook Marketplace!  That’s the answer.  Or is it?

Once you get past the “Is this still available” initiation, and there are those who like to push my buttons with that button, there’s a glimmer of hope for a sale. I am curious though. Why do people bother to ask if you still have the item and then go silent when you respond that you do? 

Let me tell you, we take selling our wares seriously in this household.  We try to sell things at a fair price (admittedly, I usually try to get more money than Chris does because I get tired of giving everything away).  Anyway, he assumes his Herb Tarlek plaid sportscoat and me, as wife Lucille, try to spiffy myself up because you want to look good for the customers, right?

For those unfamiliar to the above reference, WKRP In Cincinnati was a 1970’s TV show centered around a local radio station. Herb was the sleazy advertising sales manager and Lucille was his rarely seen wife. To be clear, the only similarity between Chris and Herb is the imaginary jacket that Chris dons when selling.

We won’t soon forget the time we had a dozen or more 12’ by 12’ concrete patio blocks for sale.  Yahoo, we got a nibble; yep, looks like she’s buying!  Yay! Let’s get those out of here! Except potential customer arrived in a 2 door Yaris that could hold four blocks maximum. No help in sight. “Um, are you putting them in that? Do you realize how much they weigh?” “Herb” asked. In a rare moment, I was too stunned to say anything.

Can you guess what happened next? 

Not only did “Herb” and I load the blocks in her car, we loaded the rest in ours and in caravan fashion delivered to her home outside city limits. Then we proceeded to unload all those freaking blocks one final time. I think she mumbled a quick thanks but seemed blissfully unaware of what we’d done for her. Certainly, there was no offer of extra payment for our time, our gas, or massage therapy for our broken backs.

Sometimes “Herb and Lucille” take their wares on the road. One recent sale started with promise when we listed and quickly sold a piece of furniture.  However, the intended out-of-town buyer did not show up with a truck as promised. After a number of email exchanges over a number of weeks,” Herb and Lucille” made a three hour round trip to finally unload the goods.  We made a day of it – planned some sight-seeing, bought some t-shirts, took a few photos with the locals and ate a meal so the trip wasn’t all business. The fuel was covered for the delivery but still…

Then there are the “customers” who think I do holds for days, sometimes weeks with no money down.  What is this?  The layaway desk at Walmart?  Is layaway even a thing anymore?  Regardless, you do put down money to hold the item.

I’m not sure people understand how this resale business works – I offer a good for sale, we exchange money for the good, and they leave with the item.  I’m not a storage facility, bank, or delivery service; I’m someone who’s looking to get rid of some stuff and get a decent price for it.

Is that too much to ask?

All joking aside, there are many decent humans who show up when they say they will, pay a reasonable price and leave with their purchase. I’ve also put a lot of items on Facebook Marketplace for free and I make frequent donations to the Homeless Shelter, the Multicultural Association or most recently the John Howard Society. 

As a result, I’ve met some great folks who’ve drawn a short straw in life and deserve a break.  They are some of the kindest and most appreciative people I’ve met with gratitude galore.  For me, it’s a win win win.  It feels good to help others, my stuff gets repurposed and our planet breathes a momentary sigh of relief.

Maybe we can make a deal after all.

Please tell me we aren’t the only ones who’ve experienced such adventures when trying to clear some clutter. We can’t be.. YouTube is full of songs about … you guessed it…yard sales. It was a tough choice but this video made me giggle.

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Wishing you a gentle journey!

Lori xo