Editor’s Note: Steven Watson is taking a step back from the blog. I thank him for his many contributions and wish him good health and happiness. I’m filling in today.

On a recent dog walk, we passed some kids playing outside. They must have had a falling out because one kid took off running with another in hot pursuit. What came next brought a lump to my throat “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I really didn’t.”

When was the last time you got (or gave) an honest apology when someone was hurt or disrespected?

Sometimes I feel weird explaining to someone how inconsiderate they were in a situation. It’s like, if you didn’t realize it yourself, I don’t know what to say. – Grounded and Growing Facebook Page

Accountability. 

Merriam Webster defines it as the obligation or willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own actions, decisions, and policies, and to justify or explain them to others.

Someone pointed out that my directness makes people uncomfortable.

No kidding Sherlock.

Did they honestly think I lacked the self-awareness to know that?

It’s true – I’ve never minced words and I speak my truth. If something or someone upsets me, people know. Sometimes that truth leads to meaningful discussion and sometimes it lands with a thud.

The fact is, a lot of people, who do or say disrespectful things, are in disbelief when we call them out.  They’ve never been held accountable for their actions and their words.

I suppose it is a shock when you’ve never been taught cause and effect. Every choice has repercussions and there is a cost for behaving badly.

I understand that every interaction is subject to interpretation: what I say and how you interpret it can be quite different. That’s not what this article is about.

Words that don’t match actions is called manipulation. And refusing to be held accountable is called gaslighting.

There are those who will provoke you until you react to their disrespect.  You’ve met the type, right? They needle you until you are so angry, you let them have it. The moment you do, they can point at you and say, “See? You’re the problem”.  In their twisted mind, they can shift focus from their bad behaviour to your reaction.

That’s how toxic people avoid accountability.

It’s true that most of us weren’t taught how to have honest, open communication and that makes me sad. It was easier to avoid a difficult conversation rather than deal with it head on.

I’m sorry that some of us lacked good role models.  I’m sorrier still that not everyone learned how to treat each other with respect. 

I’m also sorry that some never learned how to accept criticism without viewing it as a personal attack.

I’m sorry that some people can’t be honest with others or themselves.

But that doesn’t mean I’ll accept bad behaviour. Nor should anyone accept mine.

It’s time we learned. 

I’ve been watching as political leaders around the globe flip flop, back peddle or generally talk in circles as a way to avoid accountability.

Here are some other ways elected officials avoid accountability:

• Deny and Deflect
• Blame Shifting and Scapegoating
• Minimize a Problem
• Maximize the Solution (Only I Can Fix this)
• Non-Apology Apologies
• Lie
• Fake Transparency
• Communicate Through Social Media and Avoid Direct Communication
• Token Actions for Big Problems
• Legal Immunities and Institutional Protection
• Partisan Protection

It’s time to hold people to account. 

How?

Vote.

Call or write elected officials, and get involved.

It’s easy to become apathetic, to sit back and let the chips fall where they may but there’s a lot hanging in the balance.

Many people don’t see the wrong in their actions because they surround themselves with people who normalize it.

Sorry folks, there’s too much at stake. I can’t be one of those people.

Your Turn 🌻

How do you plan to hold people accountable this week?

Where do you feel accountability is most lacking these days?

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