Struggling to make sense of what was happening to me in 2024, I visited the therapist that helped me through other challenging times: a workplace harassment, my mother’s dementia and the complex dynamic between mother and daughter.
Given her own experience with burnout, she recognized my symptoms straightaway: chronic fatigue, digestive issues, detachment and cynicism, irritability and anxiety. She advised I needed to see my doctor immediately to be put off work.
And thus began this present journey of self-discovery and disentanglement.
Amazingly, mostly because I struggle with all of the above and yet another symptom of burnout (memory loss and cognitive fatigue), I do remember the session she suggested I “trust the process”.
Trust doesn’t come easy when you’ve been let down by processes, by systems and by people that were supposed to protect us.
What exactly did she mean?
I’m not a sports fan so I didn’t know the Philadelphia 76ers basketball team made the phrase ‘trust the process’ popular in 2013. In the process of rebuilding their team, they relied on careful, long-term planning. No shortcuts.
The phrase has become a mantra for personal development, creative projects, fitness and recovery.
Trusting the process means:
- Focus on Today – Focus on what you can control now rather than obsessing over the final outcome.
- Patience through Setbacks – Progress is rarely a straight line. Obstacles are part of growth.
- Consistency over Quick Fixes – Small, repeated steps add up to long term success.
Just like when other bad things happened in my life such as when my father died by suicide, I’ve struggled to find meaning in this burnout.
You can’t go through something so significant and carry on like nothing happened.
A number of toxic relationships have ended.
Difficult but honest conversations, long overdue, have finally been had.
Situations, once tolerable, no longer fit.
Boundaries are firmly in place.
While positive, these changes have not been easy. The last few years have been a struggle for many of us. I can’t explain why some chapters in life are so challenging and seem to have no ending.
But here’s a thought:
What if things are working out?
Just not the way we envisioned?
The world can breathe a bit easier following the US Midterm election results but the battle is hardly over.
Unrest. Wars. Starvation. Homelessness. Injustice. Death and Destruction.
Every day there’s more sadness, loss, greed and evil.
In Canada and around the globe, people are suffering and it’s impossible to ignore.
Most of us forget just how fortunate we are.
Privilege can cause us to turn a blind eye to the challenges someone else is facing.
I’m saddened and sickened by the indifference. Few people care unless they are directly impacted. Even then, they make little effort to understand or lend support.
Worse, the level of cruelty and hatred on display both in my backyard and around the world is heartbreaking.
Cruelty in moments of deep vulnerability is intentional.
That may be the scariest part.
I’ve learned more about myself in these last few years than I have in the ten that came before it. The parts of me I once viewed as character flaws are now considered superpowers.
Still, it’s easy to fall into the old ways of thinking. Perhaps I should be farther along or doing better than I am (to be clear, I have no idea what my life should look like)
But wait a minute!
Looking back, I’ve dealt with a lot over the last couple of years and managed to write about it too!
Instead of judging myself as is easy to do, what if I’m exactly where I’m meant to be?
Valuing rest over productivity. (Because productivity does not equate to self-worth.)
Learning, growing, challenging myself to think and respond in new ways.
Letting go of old belief systems and patterns that hold me back.
Listening to my inner voice instead of the outside noise. And it’s all noise.
Healing.
Staying open and curious.
Believing I am on the right path, even when life feels uncertain and I can’t see the whole picture.
What do you know?
I guess I am trusting the process.
It’s easy to lose hope but this week was a strong reminder of the power of people, persistence and determination to bring positive change.
You can also find me on Facebook and Disentanglement – YouTube . This week, I did a step by step video about pie crust and put my video editing skills to the test. I’m getting the hang of it little by little.😊
What do you think? Comment here