Editor’s Note: We’re going back in the Disentanglement archives today. This post originally published on 2025/10/04.

I’ve always been a private person and writing about myself does not come easily. The more views the blog gets, the more I want to pull back into my shell. Yet I know that by sharing my story, I am helping someone else who may be struggling. I’m trying to offer a bit of support – the support that was severely lacking for me.

Let’s be clear that this blog will never replace professional advice. However, I know that for some, talking to a therapist is too difficult, too costly, not accessible and may never take place. I consider this a start in the right direction. Maybe it will get you thinking.

While I’ve made gains in recovery, I’m still fragile emotionally and tire easily.  My concentration is improving slightly though tasks I completed easily pre-burnout still take far too long. My memory is …what was I saying? Oh yeah, I am very forgetful and there are lapses in memory that scare me a lot.

For the most part, I consider this time a gift: remembering who I am and who I was supposed to be.  Shedding so many layers of unhelpful thoughts or feelings has been freeing. Living authentically can only be described as joy even if it makes others uncomfortable.

I don’t want to mislead you though. Healing is not sunshine and rainbows. It’s hard work and because it’s painful, not everyone is up for the challenge.

The most discouraging part of this trip is the stigma I’ve experienced.  Wow, has there been stigma.  I would be much better off with a broken leg because it’s visible.  It’s exhausting to constantly remind people I’m burnt out because from outward appearances, there are no issues. My reply is “Never judge a book by its cover”. We have no idea what someone is going through so please, be kind.

There’s also been a lot of skepticism about this blog, and my vision for it…so much skepticism. Sigh.

Our numbers continue to grow (thanks to a Facebook ad, likes, comments and shares and a few endorsements). Don’t stop now – keep commenting, liking, sharing and subscribing! Your comments and reactions to our posts (both on Facebook and the blog) bring me the biggest smiles, giggles and sometimes tears. I enjoy interacting with all of you!

Without doubt, some will view this site with dubiety. They certainly won’t accept words of wisdom from me. 

I’d like to address that.

TRUST THE EXPERTS

Society places a lot of emphasis on titles and degrees and we certainly need those skills.  No one wants to have open-heart surgery by a doctor who watched a YouTube video, right? Though I have lots of formal education, one of my biggest fears about writing is that I’m not considered a subject matter expert.

When those fears creep in, I remind myself… Hey, I’ve attended the School of Hard Knocks. What an education it’s been. Plus, I’ve always enjoyed digging deep into a subject before I feel comfortable to speak on it. I’ve been that way since elementary school.

Having spent the past 19 months in mandatory cognitive based therapy, I’ve made some observations. I found myself in the care of some people who weren’t familiar with burnout or trauma and couldn’t offer the proper support.  That’s not a jab at healthcare providers (pardon the pun) or therapists – but it’s obvious there are significant gaps in our mental healthcare system that need to be addressed.

Besides, quite often the “experts” are the ones who’ve survived the flames. My greatest burnout support has come from people who’ve also experienced it.  They’ve shared coping strategies, therapies that worked, or validated my feelings to confirm I wasn’t losing my mind.

Decades ago, I remember one therapist trying to convince me I was angry at my father for taking his life. How could I be angry? I sensed his pain. He truly thought his family would be better off without him. Survivors of suicide understand that.

That’s not to diss mental health care providers or therapists. They serve a valuable purpose and some topics require their expertise to move forward. Keep in mind it may take a few tries to find the right fit for you.

I know there are doubters, skeptics and people so out of touch with their emotions that will never understand why I’m sharing my story.  This is such a small city and everyone knows someone. I’ve heard their snide comments and felt their cynicism.  To them I say, I hope you never experience severe burnout.  May you never experience a lack of support from employers, insurance companies, and healthcare. If you do, maybe then you’ll understand why I’m writing.

SURVIVAL SKILLS

Looking at the broader picture, I wish someone had taught me coping skills to thrive and not just survive in this sometimes cruel world.  Words like boundaries were rarely part of my vernacular pre-burnout.

OUR WORLD

Our world is in chaos. It helps to write about some of the things that make me anxious. I worry about the lack of response to the climate crisis. The political climate, particularly in the United States but also around the world, terrifies me. I worry about healthcare, education, the high cost of living and homelessness.  Mental health issues are on the rise. Treatment remains out of reach due to high costs and availability.

We are in unprecedented times and it’s scary. Worse, we are more disconnected than ever at a time we desperately need connection.  How do I know that people are looking for answers and community?  One tiny clue… the blog had over 5,300 views from people around the world in September. That’s a lot of eyes and a lot of reading on a blog that disentangles issues.

BRING BACK KINDNESS AND EMPATHY

Here’s another truth.  We all face challenges in life but what I’ve observed is that unless we’ve personally experienced it, most people don’t care what someone else is going through.  That’s where the sharing of stories and experiences come in. A reminder to be kind and empathetic. To learn and grow.

“If you can learn a simple trick, Scout, you’ll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view, until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.”  — Harper Lee (‘To Kill a Mockingbird’) 

“To Kill A Mockingbird” has been challenged or removed from reading lists across the United States and Canada in recent years.  We lose empathy when we ban books that teach kindness and mutual respect for our fellow man.

Most of the world is on auto-pilot these days.  We rush from one thing to the next, devoid of emotion, deprived of sleep, numbing our pain, living like zombies.  It’s usually when life hits us on the head that we wake from our sleep.

It doesn’t have to be like that.

By sharing stories, Aimee helped me understand the challenges of raising an autistic child. I’d never given much thought to kidney dialysis or polycystic kidney disease (PKD), and I couldn’t imagine a cancer diagnosis on top of that but I do now thanks to Steven’s story.

A FEAR-BASED SOCIETY

For all of society’s advancements, there are still so many outdated beliefs.  “Don’t admit there’s a problem – that’s weakness” is a huge one. I’ve been on the receiving end of many unhelpful comments on this journey. They usually come from people who need the most help themselves but it’s easier to make me the scapegoat.  It’s disappointing, it’s hurtful and yes, it makes me angry but it’s where we are as a society.

So, if you’re still wondering why I’m sharing my story, I see a world full of hurt, fear and anger and I want to be a part of the change – one story at a time. We’re committed to providing quality articles on the topics that matter.

We’ll keep pushing buttons, keep telling the truth. Sharing opinions and stories about life. 

I’m grateful for each subscriber, or follower on social media.  I hope you’ll keep following along and walk a mile in my shoes. You’ll see we aren’t that different after all.

Here’s Brad Paisley performing “Try A Little Kindness” as part of a PBS special Country Music: In Performance at the White House that aired on November 23, 2011. Political civility was more the norm than an outlier – watch for a number of former Presidents sitting amicably together.

I’m always on the lookout for contributors. We all have a story. Why not share one of yours?

Drop me a line!

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